Sensual For You

What Kind Of Poly Relationship I Am Seeking

I already mentioned a few things like...

I'm seeking friendship first. I don't want any expectations like just because you are seeking a polyamorous relationship & I'm seeking one, that BAMM, that means we are a match made in heaven. Being poly is no different than being mono. All parties involved need to be compatible with one another. The rules are no different in my opinion. First I start off dating while getting to know the person, which usually takes me about 3-6 months to get them to show me their true selves. If you are a poly who believes no dating is required just because you are poly, then I don't feel we are on the same page.

I'm not here to commit to people I barely know & I'm not here to wait 3-6 months to commit either. Every person is different, every situation is different, but I don't want someone who rushes & I don't want someone who is afraid either. If you are not of polyamorous mind, then we can only be friends. I've already tried to have a relationship with someone who was interested in poly, but was too afraid (very very insecure) to let me be me & I wasn't even looking for anyone new, so he smothered me instead, killing my respect for him & our relationship.

Mono people with poly people just don't mix.

If you are poly, I would only feel comfortable if I got to know your other partners as well. I don't feel comfortable with people hiding. Why would a person have to hide anyway if everyone is honest & above board? Also what I don't know is always more fearful than what I do know. I have already gone through that terribly negative experience of one partner hiding their other new interest or that new interest not wanting to get to know me or that new interest trying to turn that person into a mono person & it sucks. I've heard the same story many times & I feel it's something that all polyamorous people have to look out for. I thought I was immune, but I wasn't & that was partially because my partner wasn't really poly to begin with.

I'm not into long distance relationships, but if the long distance relationship turned into one where we moved to be with one another, I'm open to that. My goal is to build a family where we all live together, but I don't wish to do it because I have to, rather because I want to. Family is very important to me. I believe in equality & a structured family unit where everyone has their role in the family, yet everyone has a voice & a vote. For example, if you are skilled in cooking & I am not, you are responsible for the cooking, if there are two of us that are good cooks, then we split the cooking shifts. If I'm skilled at accounting, then I do the budgeting & so on. Everyone chips in & that includes the kids, whether it's financially or with running the house & raising the kids.

When there is a conflict, the 2 people (let's use 2 for a moment) work it out amongst themselves & the 3rd or 4th do not interfere or take sides.

Just a note to couples only...

I really understand that you have known each other a lot longer then any new person coming into your relationship & that everything takes time to build up, but eventually I would have to feel like I'm having a full relationship with both of you together & both of you separately. I just don't feel it's equal any other way. Couples if you can not handle being individual human beings because you fear that your partner will grow without you or they will eventually choose someone else over you, then I feel you need to work on your abandonment issue. I have abandonment issues too. Most everyone alive has this issue. It's how we work through it & get rid of it that most concerns me. For your health & everyone's around you.

Back to the family unit...

There are weekly or bi-weekly family meetings where we vent how we feel, both positively & negatively. Even the kids are allowed to voice their concerns as they are part of the family. We all have a personal room for ourselves that we choose to develop in any way necessary whether it be a sleeping room, an office, a storage room etc. & for those of us who work from home, we have a separate enclosed office area. It's a challenge to work without a separate room. Then we have one communal room that can be for either sleeping or just making love. How our sleeping arrangements play out is between all of us to decide.

I'll tell you right now during my sleep, I can't tolerate snoring, noises or light. I need total silence & darkness. If it bothers you that I don't sleep with you because you snore, then clearly we will only remain friends. I would resonate most with people who aren't so needy & HAVE to have me in their bed while sleeping.

So that wraps this up.

Click here for my interests, or if you want to skip right over to the last page in what I seek in you personally...

Quote

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

— Frank Outlaw

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